DirecTV won't get my business

I know everyone wants to talk about Hillary Clinton every minute of every day. Let's quit drinking from the same old koolaid cup for a while.   For years, I've been getting offers from DirecTV to switch from cable to them.  I'd like to present to you why they still can't get it right.  It's a little about how my warped mind works.

I am a pretty straightforward guy in many ways.  I like most things to be kept simple.  At least those things that should be simple.  Like your cell phone plan and bill; those should be simple.  But they are not.  That's a topic for another day.

On the topic of simple, I have a rule that there must only be a single remote control.  I will not tolerate a separate remote to control some box that adds more cables and complexity.

I've been a cable subscriber in my current location for the last 9 years.  I get basic cable which cost me around $63 a month.  I don't get HBO or any of those pay channels.  We don't get any HD channels.  We've managed quite nicely.  But, I'm always open to changing.  If I could get a better deal, I'm all for it.  So every time I get an offer from DirecTV for $29.99 a month or whatever the latest offer is, I'm always intrigued.  And every time, I get stuck on one thing.  I currently have 4 TVs hooked up in the house.  And my cable company doesn't care if I have 20.  The last few times I got an offer from DirectTV, hooking up 4 tvs was part of the deal.  Cool.  A chance to lower my monthly TV entertainment costs. I have no interest in having a million channels.  So their scheming little plan to upsell me to all the fancy HD channels won't fly.  The thing that caught me though is that the part that said I get 4 hookups had a little 5 next to it.  So I got out the magnifying glass and found that the little 5 meant that I had to cough up an extra $5 a month for each additional hookup.  So that means an extra $15 a month.  then I read a little more I find that the $29.99 is for 12 months.  Nothing said what would happen after that.  It implies that the regular rate is an additional $23 a month.  So the regular monthly price would be $29.99

So, I'm expected to put up with another remote and more system complexity, for a 12 month period after which my monthly cost would be unknown.  Let's add up.

29.99 + 15.00 = $54/month (+ taxes etc)

Then starting in year 2
29.99 + 15.00 + 23.00 = $77/month (+ taxes etc)

Looking only at year 1, I would be saving a few dollars a month.  I'm assuming that taxes would take the $54 closer to the $63 I'm paying for cable. I would save a few dollars.

Then in year 2, I would be behind.